Every so often I wax William

Everything’s working, try again in half an hour.

We do not routinely oil and chip over deer kill.

The difference between the Spice Girls and a porno film is that the porno film has better music.

My lord, I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human head. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?

All i’ve had today is an avocodo and half-a-dozen gin & tonics

Now the time has come for us to mount our donkeys and leave… for you are beginning to bore our clearly deranged minds.

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam
(For non-latiners: “I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.”)

I’ll call out the National Guard before I let you soak your ass-knobs in my tub.

Important data should not be entrusted to Pinstripe, as it may eat it and make loud belching noises.