Remember the Hell Law!
The Hell Law states that Hell is specifically reserved for those that believe in it, and the Lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for those that believe in it on the assumption that they’ll go there if they don’t.

It was like James and the Giant Peach but with a sinister twist.

…it’s more like a haunted double-wide with a redneck who says “Boo! I scared you!”

Looks like his brainwaves crash just a little short of the beach.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of java the thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

…most SF writers are small blokes; they spent a lot of time grubbing around on the floor for old SF mags, not stretching up to the top shelf for pornography… As an aside, Douglas Adams is quite tall

The search for the perfect martini is a fraud. The perfect martini is a belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent trappings of civilization.

Lizzy borden took an axe, sunk it deep into the VAX,
When she saw what she had done, she turned and hacked apart the Sun.

A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit, let alone discuss with prospective clients. Still, the fact remains that there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another, completely immune to any direct magical spell. It is for this group of beings that the magician learns the subtleties of using indirect spells. It also does no harm, in dealing with these matters, to carry a large club near your person at all times.

Basically, what you’re doing is using argumentum ad ignorantium, and I must admit that you seem to have a more than adequate supply of ignorance to which to apply that fallacy.